‘Yes’ is probably the sweetest word in the dictionary. Everyone from marketeers, family, friends, colleagues or acquaintances want to hear a yes to their request, demand or submission. However, you cannot say ‘yes’ to every opportunity or request.
Learning to say ‘No’ is a life-skill we all have to master. And interestingly the way we say ‘no’ reveals a lot about the kind of person we are depending on whether our approach is constructive or destructive, and tone is negative or positive while saying ‘no’.
Type 1: You just say, “NO!” That’s it. And probably at you tone it up a bit as well. If it sounds familiar, my friend, you are a dictator! Now, if you are silently ‘shouting’ a ‘NO!’, then you prove my point.
Type 2: You say, “No, because…” and you take the time to explain your reasoning for saying so, you are a caring teacher. By the ways, this does not mean all teachers fall under this type. You probably won’t have to try hard remembering of a teacher from your childhood days who was not so caring and was rather a dictator.
Type 3: You say, “Yes, but…” and you go on building your case for rejecting the proposal. If it rings a bell, you are a diplomat. You choose a verbose way of saying you are not interested.
Type 4: You say, “Yes, and…” and you genuinely evaluate and even extend the possibilities of the proposition before you decide. Your approach is creative, collaborative and likely to usher in positive changes. You are an appreciative inquirer.
Which kind of ‘No’ would you choose to say? And if you have to then which of the kinds would you choose to hear?